Misc

When I’m in charge

Because the people with all the power seem to have fucked-up priorities, we’re asking our writers what five laws they’d enact if they ran the country (or indeed world). First up is Debra-Jane Appelby, who doesn’t do things by halves.

Illustration by Louise Boulter.

Illustration by Louise Boulter.

1. Find a way to get people off their addiction to gods, thus freeing up science to blossom away from prejudice and fear.

2. Cancel all weapons programmes and put the money into Mars colonisation.

3. Exile the 1 per cent and redirect their assets into a sharing economy. Feeding and housing everyone will reduce overpopulation. I know. Crazy ideas.

4. Get rid of the capitalist economy and change to one based on need not greed. Marxist, I’m afraid.

5. GET TO FUCKING MARS!!!

@dj_appelby

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Written by Debra-Jane Appelby

Loud, Yorkshire, opinionated, techno-geek, trans-woman comedian with a fondness for excessive culinary pleasures and too little exercise.