It’s question of the month time! But we’ve turned it into a whole feature (Lazy? No. Shhh). This time we asked our contributors to tell us the five (living) people they’d invite to a dinner party.
Bridget Christie, Stewart Lee, Amy Schumer, Stephen Sondheim and Nigel Farage. I’d like to see what happens and then I fancy a bit of a sing-song.
Daniel Craig. The other four places would be set for security staff. For his sake, obviously. Only fair I give him some sort of chance.
Me, John Barrowman and some audience members.
Graham Norton, Rob Lowe, Judi Dench, Tina Fey, James McAvoy. I basically have a crush on all these people, regardless of their or my sexual orientation, and I reckon dinner with them would be an orgy of joy.
Tina Fey, Willie Nelson, Don McCullin, Peter Dinklage and Jo Brand. Because I love them all for different reasons and none of them seem the sort to point out that I can’t cook.
Liza Minnelli, Amy Poehler, Victoria Wood, Alan Bennett and Jarvis Cocker. I think Liza and Alan would get on famously. (This game is HARD. I now have guilt about all the people who I’ve never met who I didn’t invite to the imaginary dinner party I’ll never have. I’m so sorry Malala… I just REALLY fancy Jarvis Cocker.)
My mum, my dad, my two brothers and my other half because we don’t sit round the table eating and laughing nearly as much as we should.
Steve Pemberton, Reece Shearsmith, Victoria Wood, Dawn French and my husband. All the people (apart from Rik Mayall) that have shown me how to laugh. I’d also like the whole cast of Airplane. Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
All of Take That. Just to get the band back together.
David Sedaris for his storytelling and wit, Rick Stein because his TV programme recently inspired me to go to Greece to eat fish, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie for her outlook and because I love her books, Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer guy and then either Nadiya from Bake Off or Mo Farah because he’s great and I want to see if he really likes Quorn like he says he does in the ads.
Bob Mortimer, Greg Davies, Roisin Conaty and my husband. Plus Noel Fitzpatrick from The Supervet because he deserves a lovely evening. I wouldn’t cook, no one wants that.
My daughter and four babysitters.
Some of Standard Issue's brilliant women's carefully crafted words for your reading pleasure.