Written by Kate Leaver

Misc

Life Critic: Cara Delevingne

In her regular column, Kate Leaver reviews life’s banalities. This week, she reviews Cara Delevingne. Yes, she’s reviewing a human being.

gurning alpacaAs far as I can tell, Cara Delevingne has been proper famous since 2013. All of a sudden, her obscenely lovely face was everywhere, like a supermodel version of the Being John Malkovich poster. She has eyebrows that deserve their own Twitter account, and judging by the way she arches them sometimes, she may actually know what Victoria’s Secret is.

But, being generally indifferent to professionally beautiful people and somewhat terrified of fashion, I really didn’t think much of Cara D. To me, she was just another waif-thin reminder that sexiness is our most valuable commodity. Another mostly-naked tribute to superficiality.

Until now. UNTIL NOW, FRIENDS. Now? I may very well be in love with the woman. In that faux-intimate, ephemeral way we cherish the famouses when they happen to align with something we believe in. Being proven wrong when I underestimate a woman is one of my very favourite things. And in this case, Cara’s total refusal to be anything but herself is what resonated.

CaraGirl’s got a brain! And things to say! And a wicked, dry, British sense of humour! And a very healthy disdain for tabloid idiots who lie about her! And a really positive stance on sexuality! What is this! What is happening! Why am I using so many exclamation marks! I generally take a very strong minimalist approach to exclamation! It must be this weird, kind-of-arousing respect I have for a supermodel! Let’s go with it!

So, when did I fall in love with Cara D? Yesterday, actually. Madly.

It happened during an awkward interview she did to promote her new film, Paper Towns (She acts? She acts!). Anchors on a show called Good Day Sacramento mispronounced her name, implied she might not be able to read, spoke down to her, refused to detect her obvious sarcasm, and then berated her on-air for not being energetic enough. One of the question-askers, whose name isn’t worth learning, suggested she “have a nap” and “get a Red Bull”. Because women are expected to be peppy at all times, in all circumstances, even when they’re insulted on live television.

Watch how flawlessly Cara behaves throughout – and try not to develop a big old crush on her.

Yeah. NOT A GOOD DAY FOR YOU AFTER ALL, SACRAMENTO. Not a good day.

Cara Delevingne: 100. Inane television question-askers: 0.

Between this delightfully wry interview and Cara’s recent comments about her sexuality (she’s openly bisexual, and really told off Vogue for calling it “a phase” recently, which was great), Cara D gets a full five stars from me. Old Five-Stars Delevingne.

@kateileaver

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Written by Kate Leaver

Wandering Australian journalist, professional-level Harry Potter fan, occasional funny person, gelato enthusiast. Still worried about the state of Britney Spears' mental health.