Written by Various Artists


Fruit, in my fruit bowl? Are you mad?

So, we asked our contributors what’s in their fruit bowl. And, for the most part, it sure as hell ain’t fruit.

Camilla's fruit bowl

I have fruit, but also a perfume sampler, batteries (seriously, what the hell are you supposed to do with them when they run out?) an egg cup and the plastic bag I used last time I went on a plane which still functions as my purse.
Camilla King

Always fruit. But often the fruit you are not allowed to eat. The fancy mango that you buy for a special occasion and then forget to use. The passion fruits you bought for a pavlova that you never made so they rot to death. I inherited this skill from my mother.
Pippa Evans

Hannah's fruit bowl

This is an unusually high fruit-to-detritus ratio if I’m honest.
Hannah Dunleavy

Fruit bowl? Couple of apples in their packet on the side.
Sarah Hendrickx

Dotty's two fruit bowls

The three-tier thing in the background containing no fruit is our fruit bowl. The dish in front containing Post-Its, sticky tape, pens and fruit is our spare fruit bowl.
Dotty Winters

Mine had an onion, some buttons and a champagne cork in it until last week, when I noticed the onion was mouldy and threw it away.
Justine Brooks

JoJo's fruit bowl

Jojo Sutherland

Hazel's fruit bowl

This is right now, but there’s usually a phone charger. And batteries.
Hazel Davis

Jane's fruit bowl

Most of the fruit is sitting on the kitchen cabinet instead.
Jane Hill

Two apples and the small bell from an Aldi chocolate Easter bunny. Not sure where the shrivelled conker which lived in there for years has got to.
Abi Bliss

Daisy's fruit bowl

I thought being a grown-up would be different.
Daisy Leverington

Claire's fruit bowl

A hose pipe gun and a multi-pack of Seabrook crisps.
Claire Goodwin

Lucy's first fruit bowl

My other fruit bowl has a teapot in it.
Lucy Trodd

If proof were needed…

Lucy's second fruit bowl with teapot

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Written by Various Artists

Some of Standard Issue's brilliant women's carefully crafted words for your reading pleasure.