New(ish) mum Samantha Dooey-Miles is charting her life in doodles. This week, she’s skirting around the bottom of peak grown-up.

A few weeks ago I turned 31. Which is fine. I mean, 31 is more in your 30s than plain old 30 and the next big birthday I’ll celebrate is 40 but it’s fine. Honestly, it’s fine.

I expected by this age I’d have achieved peak grown-up and accumulated all the good habits I spent my 20s failing to gain. Of course, I haven’t. Here is a, not at all comprehensive, list of some of the ways I continue to disappoint as an adult.

• I can keep a child alive but am an accidental serial murderer of house plants. I thought I was close to sorting this out when my mother-in-law gave me a plant she claimed could survive anything. It could not survive me and is a dry rotting corpse, buried in one of Essex’s finest bits of landfill.

• Every fresh-faced gorgeous person you ever meet swears by drinking gallons of water. I would love to be fresh-faced and gorgeous too, but seemingly not enough to drink more than the odd glass of tap water when I can be arsed to lift my bum off my seat at work and take the few steps required to refill my glass.

doodlebug• One thing I thought was certain to become when I had a baby – a creature who is notoriously not a fan of long lie-ins – is a morning person. In what I would call my only real disappointment about becoming a mother, I still really hate mornings.

• I imagine going into your wardrobe with pristine, perfectly ironed clothes waiting for you to take your pick is nice. I’ll never know as I never do my ironing and will always have to wear whatever is the least creased.

• Documentaries telling powerful stories that have the potential to change my view on the world and educate me sound nice in theory but they will always have to fight for my attention against easy-to-digest trash. I wish it wasn’t the case, but not as much as I wish Scott and Kourtney will get back together.

This list could go on but I’m off to drink a tea, sorry litre of water, and see how Kim and Kanye are doing.

See Samantha’s previous doodles here.


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Written by Samantha Dooey-Miles

Sam is a first-time mum doodling and blogging her way through teething, nappies and the constant struggle of never quite being sure whether she lives in Essex or London. Find her blog at anewessexgirl.com.