Written by Hayley Ellis


Beast of the Week: Frustrated pups, a bath-hating cat and a bouncing dog are awaiting your attention

There’s nothing Hayley Ellis likes more than captivating videos of animals going about their daily doings. She shares the best of them at Standard Issue for our unadulterated pleasure.

dog jumping

Photo by Jerry Reynolds from Fargo, United States via Wikimedia Commons.

Hello and welcome to another instalment of Beast of the Week.

I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t get through a day without seeing a glimpse of a cat proper kicking off or viewing a horse that looks like it’s singing the lyrics to a Shakira song.

This is why I continue to search high and low (otherwise known as scrolling Google during work) to bring you some of the greatest animal clips to grace my desktop in recent days.

With it being Wimbledon I thought I would kick this week off by sharing with you some of the animal kingdom’s most deserving, yet unsung athletes.

We all know Mo Farrah is a good runner – and he’s great at eating Quorn too – but did you know that the swift can fly nonstop for almost 200 days straight? That’s the bird, not the Taylor.

That’s like more than half a year of flying. Let’s just try and take in that pretty amazing fact, shall we? I once did three star jumps and needed a sit down and my inhaler.

“The kangaroo rat can go years without having a drink. Does he ask for sponsorship for that? He certainly does not. He just cracks on with life, sporting a dry, dry mouth.”

In the weightlifting contingent of the animal world, the rhino beetle is triumphant. It can carry 850 times its own body weight. That’s the equivalent of me carrying a bus. Granted, sometimes that would be quicker than the 142 during rush hour, but still.

Then there are the animals who are bloody brilliant at jumping. And there are many.

Fleas can jump 100 times their own height; cats can jump five times their own height; and my friend Becky’s fish once jumped out of its own tank. This makes it official that animals will always be the best at a party when House Of Pain’s Jump Around comes on.

Last but not least, the kangaroo rat can go years without having a drink. Does he ask for sponsorship for that? He certainly does not. He just cracks on with life, sporting a dry, dry mouth. I know not drinking isn’t a sport, but seeing as some people at the weekend treat drinking like one, I thought K-Rat merited inclusion.

So, now our brains are that little bit fuller, let’s get on with this week’s animal clips.

Continuing with the jumping theme, here is a dog jumping on a bed. What’s not to like?

Cats: some of them don’t like baths, and some of them know all the words to songs by 90s Dutch dance duo (and alliteration champions), 2 Unlimited.

And finally, ever had an itch you couldn’t get to? Or a remote control which was just that little bit out of reach when you’re settled on the sofa? Prepare to empathise with these pooches.

Please keep tweeting me your favourite animal clips to @hayles_ellis and I’ll see you all soon. Just off to get a lift home off a rhino beetle. The 142 can do one.

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Written by Hayley Ellis

Hayley Ellis is a full time woman and part time lover. She has been performing as a stand up comedian since 2009 @Hayles_Ellis