Written by Fern Britton


On Yer Bike

Getting motivated to kit up and do some exercise can be a royal pain in the chuff. Avid cyclist Fern Britton weighs up the pros and cons of getting your leg over.

No: My bike’s been sitting in the garage/hallway/back bedroom at my mum’s for years. It’s probably got a puncture and spiders in its spokes.
Yes: Shopping for a new bike opens up a whole new vista! The smell of the bike shop. The spotty, monosyllabic bloke behind the counter who won’t look you in the eye but who you just know will sell you the best bike ever.

No: I haven’t got the right clothes and lycra is untenable.
Yes: There are some really cool cycling clothes out there, including fabulous tweedy rainproof capes that give you an air of Sherlock Holmes. Come summertime, those lycra shorts will make sure you have very tanned legs.

No: I don’t want to arrive at work all hot and sweaty.
Yes: Rde a bit at the weekends and you’ll get fitter and will therefore arrive at work looking tres sportif with an enviable bloom in your cheeks.

No: I have a wobbly bottom and weak thighs.
Yes: Get pedalling and you will have a sleek tush and toned thighs.

No: Other road users are horrible.
Yes: Yes they can be, but as a probable car driver yourself, cycle the way you’d expect to see a cyclist to ride: don’t jump red lights; don’t wobble up the inside of huge buses or lorries; always look around you and indicate clearly.

No: I’ll feel silly
Yes: Now that really is silly.

No: What’s the point?
Yes: You see the world from a different angle: tootling along on a spring afternoon you get all the smells of blossom and a glimpse over people’s hedges. I actually bought a house that I saw from my bike.

No: I’m not doing it and that’s that.
Yes: Well…maybe… I did see a rather nifty Victoria Pendleton bike in Halford’s the other day.

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Written by Fern Britton

Fern Britton has worked as a television journalist since 1980. Highlights include reporting from Basra while under fire, Dolly Parton giving Fern her bracelet, and getting Tony Blair to say he would have gone to war with Iraq even if he had known there were no weapons of mass destruction.