Written by Sarah Millican

Lifestyle

Doggy style

Touring can be tough sometimes, says Sarah Millican. Luckily, for her, EVERY day is Bring Your Dog to Work Day.

Tuvok calling shotgun in Sarah's car.

Tuvok calling shotgun in Sarah’s car.

I’m typing this with my feet by a dog bed and the dog bed is full of snoozy dog. I keep looking at him like he’s not real but it’s just because every time I look at him, I get a little rush of love in my heart.

I’m not a medical expert. I suspect you can’t get a rush of love to your heart. It’s more likely endorphins or heartburn. Either way, having a dog so close to me while I write or admin like a mofo makes me very happy.

On National Bring Your Dog to Work Day, those of us who work from home a lot smile smugly, knowing that EVERY DAY is Bring Your Dog to Work Day. But obviously, I’m not always at home. Luckily, when I go out on tour, my workplace is one of the 18 per cent that allows dogs.

So instead of waving goodbye to a (I like to think) sad dog (my husband says it’s just how his face always looks), I pack his little bag and watch him spin and jump excitedly into the car.

He, oddly but thankfully, loves travelling and will always try to bagsy a seat upfront, sometimes offering to drive, before being redirected into his backseat crate for some motorway snoring and farting.

When we get to the venue, his little waggy tail is greeted with smiles and strokes. He is a hit. He runs about the stage while I sound check and then sits in my dressing room in his bed with his toes crossed that it’s a Nando’s day. He’s usually right. And whether the show has been super fun or less so, the little dog is more interested in where we’re going to wee later. What trees and posts and bins does Birmingham/Aberdeen/Cardiff have to offer us?

Touring is hard. Not hard like being a nurse, I’m well aware. But there are long stints away from home and the travelling is tiring and life can be lonely. You are never lonely with a dog beside you. I can’t even wee with the door shut without him worrying I’ve been taken.

Chilling while Sarah is onstage.

Chilling while Sarah is onstage.

He is an excellent hotel security guard, ruffing slightly at the man in the room upstairs having his morning horse piss. Or the amorous couple in the room next door. Or the late night drunks in the street. My little dog gives them a short piece of his mind and then curls up beside me on the bed for the night.

One of the hazards of the job is waking up and not knowing where you are. Just comedians and prostitutes on that one. But opening your eyes to a snuffling dog makes every hotel room a little more like being at home.

@SarahMillican75
bringyourdogtoworkday.co.uk

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Written by Sarah Millican

Sarah Millican is a comedian, writer, reformed workaholic, feminist, cat and dog mam, wife and lover of food.