Written by Various Artists

In The News

Is it time for a female Bond?

The role of 007 is free again so our writers are pitching in with their ideas of who should fill it. And there are a lot of women on the list.

If Sue Perkins were BondFiona Shaw, because she is charismatic and probably has a deadly skill set.
Sophie Scott

Bond should be posh, English, well-connected, sophisticated and probably older than any potential love interest. It’s also important to believe that Bond might jump out of a helicopter or off a train at any moment, while also being willing to drink spirits. The name’s Bond, Jennie Bond.
Dotty Winters

Alice Sanders

Zombie Judi Dench: M returns to take on Bond’s role and persona as the living dead. Or Gonzo. Anyone but Justin Bieber.
Juliette Burton

I’d like to see a female Bond. It’s time. She should be smart, athletic, posh and sexily intelligent with superb aim. I’m putting forward Gwendoline Christie.
Lili la Scala

If Gewndoline Christie were BondMe. I’m an ethnic minority, tiny, woman with a brain. That defies all Bonds of the past on all levels. Also, they won’t let me be the next Doctor, so this will have to do. I have always wanted to wear a tailored tux. Anything they can do, I can do in killer heels. Not because I have to as a woman, in light of recent PWC news, but just because I am pretty competent in heels and I CAN.
Suze Kundu

Marge Simpson. There’s nothing that woman couldn’t handle.
Sarah Hendrickx

Idris all the way!
Karen Campbell

Tilda Swinton. I reckon she is already a spy so it would just be a name change for her.
Jo Tynan

Kristin Scott Thomas. She’ll rock a dinner jacket, purr one-liners before making a smooth but deadly getaway and effortlessly mix a martini.
Sarah Ledger

Gemma Whelan please.
Jessica Fostekew

Jennie Bond is BondThat guy who was going for a job interview at the BBC and accidentally ended up on TV as a music download expert and he thought it was part of the job interview so he just answered all the questions.
Sooz Kempner

Timothy Dalton again please. He’s my favourite. Actually I might just watch Licence to Kill again.
Sarah Millican

Gut feeling, I’m thinking MC Hammer, in Hammer Elite. He could try to do a 2legit British accent, and fight against a collection of 80s and 90s hip-hop icons. Vanilla Ice would star as ‘Nilla, the riff-stealing mastermind, etc. Irresistible action all set to a lovingly remastered soundtrack of the songs we know and love.
Taylor Glenn

Samuel Anderson. He played Danny Pink in Doctor Who. Nuff said.
Debra-Jane Appelby

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Written by Various Artists

Some of Standard Issue's brilliant women's carefully crafted words for your reading pleasure.