Written by Sarah Millican

In The News

The good, the bad and the Twitter

Starting today, the 10th anniversary of the founding of the social network, we’re asking our contributors for their tweeting experiences – good, bad and proper weird. First up, Sarah Millican on what she’s learned from Twitter.

iPhoneWithout Twitter:

• I would never have found out what I’m as funny as (cancer, AIDS etc)

• I would never have discovered what is unacceptable about my physical appearance

• I would never have realised how awful my voice is

• I would have fewer self-esteem wobbles and little cries

• I would never have been able to bring lonely people together on Christmas Day (#joinin)

• I would never hear about that person who laughed so hard in my show they got a headache

• I would never hear about that person whose friend died the day they came to my show and I made two hours bearable for them

• I would never know how many brilliantly, funny and charming people exist out there

• I would never know how many fucking awful people exist out there

• I would never have met and become good friends with Jojo Moyes

• I would be bored on trains

• I would have very dull shits

• I would have to go door to door to tell people about this here awesome magazine

• I would never have met Richard Drummie from Go West (and I have)

• My friends would think I’d died

• My dad wouldn’t know I’m alive between phone calls

• I would have to send photos of my pets to my friends by Royal Mail

• I would have to actually read a newspaper to find out what’s going on in the world

• I would never know quickly which celebrity has died

• I would never be able to just ask Nigella if my meringues look OK

• I would laugh less

• I would see far fewer funny videos and gifs (but not none, obviously)

• I would feel more lonely when on the road

• I would never see pictures of children that look like me

• I would get a lot of time back.


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Written by Sarah Millican

Sarah Millican is a comedian, writer, reformed workaholic, feminist, cat and dog mam, wife and lover of food.