In the wake of the month-long disappearance of Kim Jong-un, international relations lightweight Jane Bostock offers North Korea some helpful tips on finding their leader if he ever goes missing again.
Illustration by Jemima Williams
We’ve all been there, right guys? You absentmindedly fondle the bowl full of crap rather than fruit, feeling for your car keys. But shitting heck, they’re not there. A wave of panic hits you and you run in circles, throwing everything everywhere. Then you realise they were in your hand all along.
So, imagine rather than your car keys, it’s your supreme leader left somewhere unknown, and having to resort to painfully choreographed shots of an empty chair, or a vase of flowers to cover his absence.
Worry no more – and rejoice! – Kim Jong-un has been found. But you can never be too cautious. So, here are my handy hints for finding an erstwhile autocratic head of state, should it happen again.
Supreme People’s Assembly, you’re welcome.
A human, like you.