OK, we KNOW we shouldn’t rise to the bait but, when we read a list of ideal husband qualities, our writers obviously couldn’t resist having a go themselves. Remember, ladies, this is definitive. You’ll never BELIEVE number 11…
Read the original list of ideal husband qualities here. If you must.
1. A good husband always avoids cliches. “I’m having an affair with my secretary,” is just so 1973. “I’m banging my business partner,” is much more up to date.
2. A good husband is definitely not the aliens from Space Jam stacked up inside a trench coat.
3. A good husband knows that a swarm of killer bees isn’t a good surprise gift, even if it is gift-wrapped.
4. As per the stock photos, a good husband must be a) white and b) have a beard.
5. A good husband is prepared to occasionally cross gender boundaries by doing the washing up without you asking. But don’t worry, he’d never wear a pink shirt.
6. A good husband likes to see you smile but he doesn’t street harass you. He doesn’t ask you how you feel, though; he’s not one of your girlfriends!
7. A good husband doesn’t look weary and trapped when you’re eating cheese with a spoon.
8. A good husband never goes to the shop for sanitary towels and comes back with incontinence pads.
9. A good husband knows the difference between “Mmm, your perfume smells musky” and “Mmm, you smell musty.”
10. A really good husband learns to lift his feet a few inches from the ground so he can get over an INCREDIBLY LOW BAR.14906 Views
Some of Standard Issue's brilliant women's carefully crafted words for your reading pleasure.