Written by Various Artists


Sarns delicious

Sick of your old cheese and cucumber? Need a new way to pep up your workday? On National Sandwich Day, allow us to rock your bread with some tasty ideas.

Vix's hangover-busting Frankenfinger sandwich (see below).

Vix’s hangover-busting Frankenfinger sandwich (see below).

Peanut butter and gherkins

There used to be this boy in my class at school. He was called George and he was really funny. Which was just as well because he had a twin brother called Robert who absolutely every girl in the class fancied. George was a lot skinnier and shorter than Robert and he had a big nose.

One day it was George’s turn to do show and tell. Usually people talked about their holiday or their pet. George told us he was going to make sandwiches. We all laughed as he set about taking slices of bread out of a bag, as he clumsily spread them with peanut butter and then we all gasped with horror as he covered the peanut butter with slices of gherkin.

Some of us dared try the sandwich. How was it? I’m still making those peanut butter and gherkin sandwiches 32 years later. Delicious.

Justine Brooks

Cheese and Hula Hoops

Best sandwich, you say? Cheese with Hula Hoops, I reply.  For me a sandwich can often be a bit of a lacklustre affair. All soggy and not much flavour or substance.  Especially if it’s a prepackaged one that contains salad.   It needs crunchiness and salt. Or just a crisp. In one bite delivering both those things.

It also stops your fingers getting covered in crisp flavouring as you only have to put your hand in the crisp bag once. Which is handy as the startling noise of a crisp packet makes me want to hurt people.

The combination of cheese and Hula Hoops (or, if I’m not meeting clients later in the day, cheese and pickled onion Monster Munch. God I’m salivating at the thought) hits the mark every time and I would gladly eat it every day of the week.

Tanya Barrow

“We all laughed as George set about taking slices of bread out of a bag, as he clumsily spread them with peanut butter and then we all gasped with horror as he covered the peanut butter with slices of gherkin.”

Bread-free Mexican with tequila (wait, what?)

Me and bread don’t really get on so well, which is a pain for sandwiches. Due to recovery from psychological issues with eating and digestion issues – funnily enough also related to eating – I abstain from a few different foods, including bread. Goddammit.

BUT my partner cooked me chicken fajitas when he first came to stay with me for a week after two months of dating. It was the first time anyone had cooked for me in my own kitchen since I’d lived alone. Instead of tortillas he gave me romaine lettuce leaves, a bread-free Mexican sandwich. Spicy, spicy goodness I could join in with.

Nowadays it’s my go-to recipe; I’ve tried different seasonings for the griddled chicken (cumin, paprika, coriander, fresh chilli, readymade Cajun), various peppers, homemade tomato salsa and just this past month I’ve made a big discovery: homemade guacamole (avocado, chopped cherry tomatoes, fresh chilli, seasoning) with a special new ingredient, good-quality tequila.

If you’ve never tried it, please, please do. Boozy, silky-smooth deliciousness. Squash all that between two slices of bread, with cheese and sour cream if you wish or without if you are me; ENJOY. Mexican spicy AMAZINGNESS.

Juliette Burton

Pimped-up fish finger sandwich

Three waffles (double-decker experience), three fish fingers – the more orange the better. One of the layers to be a classic, with tartare sauce and mushy peas, cooked but spreadable, and the other sliced avocado. Garnish with a fried egg. A Frankenstein’s monster of a sandwich, dreamed up in the feverish mind of a woman in the grip of the severest hangover horrors.

Vix Leyton

Chicken and mustard

Roast chicken from the day before, mayo on one slice, wholegrain mustard on the other slice. Cucumber, mixed salad leaves, salt, pepper. And if you’re feeling special, make it with fresh homemade bread, or at least the posh bread from the supermarket they charge you too much for.

Cariad Lloyd

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Written by Various Artists

Some of Standard Issue's brilliant women's carefully crafted words for your reading pleasure.