Written by Various Artists


QOTM: Breakfast of champions

Most important meal of the day or tiresome obligation to eat oats? We asked our writers to nominate their breakfasts of choice.

Porridge photo by Keypunch, via Wikimedia Commons.

Porridge photo by user ‘Keypunch’, via Wikimedia Commons.

Ruth Bratt
I hate breakfast. I like (nearly) all of the breakfast foods (toast, cereal… that’s it) but I like them between the hours of 4pm and 2am, not at breakfast time. My stomach doesn’t wake up until 11am, no matter what time I get up, so either I don’t eat and feel nauseous and cranky, or I force something into my protesting stomach and feel full and nauseous.

Then there’s the added tyranny of breakfast; that it’s the most important meal of the day and if you miss it you’ll be fat forever and will give yourself diseases. So every now and then guilt makes me try for a while and I eat healthy porridge for two days, before I remember that porridge is essentially glue. Then, when I stay in a hotel I have to eat the breakfast because I’ve paid for it but it’s at 9am, and not even a perfectly poached egg is OK at 9am.

Maybe what I hate is ‘time’ and the societal structure of our days. I’m starting a ‘breakfast at any time but breakfast time’ club. Who’s in?

Nadia Kamil
I love breakfast. My ideal breakfast has four drinks; coffee, water, a fresh juice and a maybe a Bloody Mary/mimosa.

Hotel Niwa Tokyo breakfast buffet by J o, via Wikimedia Commons.

Hotel Niwa Tokyo breakfast buffet by user ‘J o’, via Wikimedia Commons.

Claire Goodwin
I like a hotel breakfast. I’ve had some amazing ones and my husband loves how excited I get about a new hotel experience. I like the juice bars and the omelette chefs and the bread selections and the fresh fruit salads.

I also like the selections in different countries – the way a standard Thai boiled egg is so different from a western one, the chicken sausages in Hong Kong, the burritos in Mexico…

Hazel Davis
I can’t eat breakfast at all when I first wake up. I start the day with an espresso (it used to be two in quick succession but then I started imagining the world was going to end so I have cut back considerably).

Then I walk around all pious with a pleasingly empty stomach until about 11am, when I get all starving and have to have three slices of cheese on toast. Followed by lunch an hour or so later.

foamy coffeeDaisy Leverington
Proper coffee and steaming hot toast with real butter. But I could have that for all my meals, to be honest.

Helen Walmsley-Johnson
I agree that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and for me when I’m at home it’s usually a couple of slices of slightly charred, well-buttered toast. No jam, no honey – just toast. More important is a quick estimation of how long it’s likely to be until my first coffee and frequent boilings of the kettle to avoid any unnecessary delay. One coffee is sufficient, two is ideal.

Having said that, I’ve reached a stage in my life where I’ve begun worrying whether I’m going to get caught short on East Midlands railways if I over-coffee. The lav on the rammed 8am Leicester to London commuter train is not to be attempted unless in extremis.

When I’m working away from home or on holiday then breakfast is the full calorie version of wherever I happen to be – Scottish, English, Welsh or French. Pass the defibrillator…

“My breakfast would make for the world’s worst Instagram feed. I eat two slices of toast for breakfast and I always have done.”

Jessica Macdonald
I never, ever, ever have breakfast*. I exist on about 37 coffees, often drinking two at the same time. Cut me, I bleed Alta Rica.

*Unless I’m staying overnight in a hotel, in which case, it’s full English room service stylee.

Fiona Longmuir
Pancakes! I make the greatest pancakes in the whole world and the boyfriend and I have them for breakfast every weekend, loaded with bacon and syrup.

Jessica Fostekew
I have ‘pre-break’, which my boyfriend thinks is funny. I genuinely don’t understand why. It’s almost always coffee, fruit (and occasionally a cheeky biscuit) then an hour or so later when I’ve peeled my brain and mouth fully open I have a proper ‘real breakfast’. Muesli, or maybe some leftover curry.

fresh toastRowan Whiteside
Toast – glorious toast – is my breakfast of choice. I like mine with peanut butter slathered thickly and Marmite drizzled on top, Pollock-style. It’s actually delicious, in spite of what you might think, and is an old family recipe. (The last time I saw my cousins we all sat in a row eating the PBM toast our Granny had made us. It was great.)

Hazel Burke
My breakfast would make for the world’s worst Instagram feed. I eat two slices of toast for breakfast and I always have done. So far, at a conservative estimate, I have eaten 23,900 pieces of breakfast toast. Based on the latest Office for National Statistics life expectancy data, another 31,500 slices of toasty joy lie stretched out ahead of me.

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Written by Various Artists

Some of Standard Issue's brilliant women's carefully crafted words for your reading pleasure.