Sooz Kempner

Sooz Kempner

Funny Women Variety Award Winner 2012. ASDA Kate Bush.


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Why I ❤️ Freddie Mercury

Queen’s irreplaceable frontman would have been 70 today. He’d have been great on Twitter, says lifelong fan Sooz Kempner.
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Here’s a how-de-do

Oi, Gilbert and Sullivan, your tunes are cracking and all that but Sooz Kempner’s time in The Mikado opened her eyes to some of your, let’s say, issues. And she’s got a little list. Actually, a big list.
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Nine things we’d miss if Brexit came to pass

In a week’s time the general public get to vote on whether or not our fair isle remains in the EU. Brexit might be fun to say but it is NOT fun to think about. Here’s Sooz Kempner with nine of the great European things we’d lose if Britain votes ‘leave’.
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Atonement

Ever wanted to apologise for something but don’t know where to start? Mr MacDonald, are you reading? Sooz ‘Kempner’ Kempner totally nicked that horse story.
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Me and my big nose

Gisele Bündchen was told her nose was too big to ever be on a magazine cover. Say whaaaaat, sniffs the well-beschnozzled Sooz Kempner.
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Like a sex machine

According to recent research, a quarter of young people would happily date a robot. To give them a hand, Sooz Kempner’s compiled a list. Course she has.
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Farage is wrong to be huffing and puffing over repeal of smoking ban

UKIP want to repeal the smoking ban – in Scotland at least. How about we don't, says Sooz Kempner.
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Why you should ❤️ Love

Caught up with Netflix's Judd Apatow-helmed sitcom yet? Then what, asks Sooz Kempner, are you playing at?
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A rock solid partnership?

Artist Tracey Emin has announced her marriage to a rock. The news got Sooz Kempner thinking about her own potential inanimate suitors. Time to buy a hat.
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Leaping lizards!

When Sooz Kempner found out she was getting a free day in February the possibilities seemed endless.