Written by Hannah Dunleavy

Arts

Saga continues – The final episodes

Our killer is revealed, the helicopters come out and Rasmus is as much use as a handbrake on a canoe. Hannah Dunleavy looks at the end of Series 3 of The Bridge. Contains spoilers.

Photo: Carolina Romare/Filmlance International AB.

All photos: Carolina Romare/Filmlance International AB.

Mistakes, she’s made a few

Really, who’d be a relative of a TV cop? Martin’s son is dead. Saga’s whole family is dead. Henrik’s wife is dead. Henrik’s children are missing. Lilian’s husband is dead. It’s probably why John didn’t do much bitching about the fact his daughter was shot. He’s just going to appreciate the time he has until her inevitable premature death sometime in the near future. He best get started on Crisis Counselling for Handling Disasters to Strengthen Human Resilience while he’s still got the chance.

Maybe that explains why Saga got off rather lightly here, because not searching a suspect for a gun does seem like a big deal. As does letting Emil go. “You couldn’t have known,” Linn tells her, but I rather think she could’ve (I did – score! – and I am no Saga, even if I am incredibly tactless and never brush my hair). And then there was the paperclip. I’m not saying she hasn’t had a lot on, but she’s off her game here.

One of the dramatic downsides of Saga’s undisclosed condition is that she’s unlikely to change much. She might be able to recall most statistics known to humanity, but she still hasn’t learned, for example, that 100 per cent of men don’t like hearing stories about someone having his cock and gladsax* ripped off.

“Claes got far too much screen time, including a scene of him filling his car with petrol that ranks among the most tedious things ever filmed.”

Still, I had to applaud her speaking for all women without kids when asked that question: “There are lots things I don’t have. Why would you ask about children?”

I was a bit concerned after she learned about Henrik’s drug problem, though, as it felt the series had been painted into a narrative corner. Yes, Saga likes the new guy, we all like the new guy, but if she grassed up Martin she would grass up anyone. Having the new Dane quit his job was a good way round it. And while I’m on the praise, I was a big fan of everything that happened at the train tracks. Round of applause.

So, who dunnit?

Emil, for reasons I’m still not entirely clear on. Freddie was his dad, Morten was his brother and everyone else was a huge disappointment to him. There was some link with Helle Anker but I never quite saw it. Not sure there’s even a message – unless it’s don’t donate sperm. (That can’t be right, can it?)

Emil, who has some nice knot tying skills, wanted to be in a painting with his father, but was nearly foiled by Freddie’s half-hearted escape. Although, to be fair, I think I’d fancy my chances catching Freddie running in mud, carrying a baby, and I haven’t run anywhere since the late 1990s.

The Bridge - series 3 - ep 9Anna and Benjamin was a whole load of something that didn’t go anywhere, as was Claes, who got far too much screen time, including a scene of him filling his car with petrol that ranks among the most tedious things ever filmed.

Jeanette was kidnapped and made to give birth alone in a basement; she’s been hospitalised and her boyfriend is dead, but hey, Freddie put a little extra in her pay-packet so it all turned out nice in the end.

And right-wing blogger Lise has gone to America to work on the Trump campaign. Probably.

The end…

Henrik persuades Saga, who’s being investigated for murder, to join him in the search for his kids. They drive off into the sunset to start a new life of chasing six-year-old leads and having missionary position sex with no kissing. Lovely.

I think they better pick a city to live in though, I’ve heard that bridge might be closing.

The big questions

Do you choose to be happy?

Who is better in bed than Henrik?

Series 4?

*Gladsax – an Ikea picture frame for album covers I saw while shopping with my brother – is the default Dunleavy family word for man balls. There has never been a more appropriate time to use it. In case you were wondering: http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/80177066/

Read all of Hannah’s thoughts on The Bridge here.

@funnypunts

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Written by Hannah Dunleavy

Hannah Dunleavy is the deputy editor of Standard Issue. She likes whisky and not having to run anywhere.