Written by Hannah Dunleavy

Arts

Saga continues: Episodes 5 & 6

A fake pregnancy, a Babylonian code and Saga draws a cock and balls onto the investigation board; Hannah Dunleavy catches up with the action from The Bridge.

The Bridge - series 3 - ep 5

Saga, practising her best cock and balls

Contains spoilers for episodes 5 & 6

Freddie and the dreamers

Let’s start with Freddie Holst and his windswept mullet. Freddie’s got it all: a wife who’ll stand beside him in public and wave silently; the sort of art that inspires serial killers; and a surrogate serf to carry his son, who will grow up hearing all the arguments money can buy. This guy’s living the dream. Henrik stops short of screaming “capitalist pig dog” into his face, which I’m fairly certain is the same in Danish, but I applaud his hostility.

Everything’s gone a bit Juno at the Holst mansion, with the added complication of Mrs Holst – I’m not going to learn her name until she gains another dimension – faking the pregnancy. Where is cat burglar supreme Tobias Fünke when you need him?

Incidentally, the name of the actor who plays Freddie is Nicolas Bro, which is an excellent name but must make travelling in New Zealand a nightmare.

The count

Benjamin, Saga’s mum, and Lukas, who was like Rasputin, until he wasn’t. He lived long enough to try to shake down Henrik for his drug habit and for the detective to pocket the dead man’s phone. I’m pretty sure it will come back to haunt him. Cheer up Martin; you might be getting a new cellmate.

And then there was Håkan, dead in a beaten barrel. Not a great week for Anna. Still, her mother has a nice line in sympathy. (“People think you are unfaithful and pathetic.”)

Everybody loves Hans

His overall condition may have worsened, but Hans did inspire a bedside wife-off, get a visit from our Miss Noren and manage to bleed from a burn, leading the police to a brand inside his mouth. Not bad for a guy in a coma. I think, provided he avoids getting kidnapped again, things might yet turn out well for him.

The investigation

That severed penis turned up again, which at least completes its story arc, and the investigation turned to the removed body parts. Henrik thinks there’s some symbolism at work. I’ve been thinking Wizard of Oz since Hans first turned up as a scarecrow. (I’m pretty certain there were times the Tin Man wished he’d asked for a penis.) Watertight. Moving on…

That code business is a bit more complex and points to our killer being insufferably pretentious. The next clue will presumably be a bible verse inscribed in ancient Aramaic onto a grain of rice found close to the corpse.

Henrik Haversham

Little bit disappointed that Henrik couldn’t see the four animals hidden in the painting. I assumed when he opens his eyes everything is just moving round like a kaleidoscope anyway so I thought it’d be right up his street. On the other hand, his improvised sign language and range of appropriate reactions to children’s art was strong.

I think we can safely say he’s a mess; living like a jilted Dickensian since his family disappeared and with a drug habit so entrenched he’s hiding it from a figment of his imagination. Good job he’s got someone else in his life, oh wait…

Peak Saga

Was Saga at her most insensitive when she asked Henrik if his dead wife watches when they have sex? Or was it when she interrupted that funeral? I’m going to call it a draw. Interestingly, these might have been the episodes when Saga really could’ve done with having Martin around, but they were the first two episodes when I didn’t miss him.

Claes and the stalker

So, it turns out that sleeping with a stalker who can also identify that you killed someone ain’t the best idea. Who knew? Claes continues to be a character entirely driven by plot, so I’m struggling to care about what’s going on here – other than to say it’s a bit rich to ask an undertaker “how can you live surrounded by death?” when one of the bodies she’s dealing with is your father THAT YOU KILLED. Still, he said no to coffin sex, because he’s not a complete animal.

The big questions

Sex or alone?

Did Henrik really need to be under that blanket after the shooting?

Was anyone pleased to see Rasmus back?

When a child says “hey Mama” in Scandinavia, does anyone else start singing Life in A Northern Town?

@funnypunts

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Written by Hannah Dunleavy

Hannah Dunleavy is the deputy editor of Standard Issue. She likes whisky and not having to run anywhere.