Written by Hannah Dunleavy

Arts

Saga continues: episodes 3 & 4

Dead dads, a bloody groin and a spot of light hoovering: the carnage continues in The Bridge. Hannah Dunleavy catches up.

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Saga and Henrik at the not-so-funfair.

Contains spoilers for episodes 3 & 4 and the most recent episode of The Walking Dead.

You can get undressed and lie down now.

Well, we got one answer early, didn’t we? Although the question of whether Saga’s straightforwardness (Do you want to go somewhere and have sex?) and Henrik’s shiny newness was going to translate to some more cop-on-cop sexy times wasn’t that taxing. But, helvete, everything that happened between Saga walking into the singles night and the conversation about whether to tell the guys down the station was absolutely golden.

Not-Martin continues to be sharp as tack – able to identify a coffee ring or a white van within seconds – which might be a side effect of taking that many drugs. Shit, Henrik can probably see through time.

I guessed pretty early (honest, wrote it my notebook and everything) that his soft-spoken companion was probably a sleep-deprived hallucination – so I’m marking that up as a win, even if there are no witnesses. I might not get another one.

Still not sure whether he might shake out to be a wrong-un; the “I’ve met you before” exchange with Lukas and all that talk of rogue army units simply screams The Killing II, which could, of course, be part of the writers’ plan.

Body count

Poor old plot device Morten (RIP, we hardly knew you) didn’t make it past the cold opener, shot by his ‘brother’, who he identified in seemingly deliberately obtuse last words. Way to drag it out, Morten.

Then everything went a bit Scooby Doo, with Hans turning up in a ghost train, having joined the elite group of TV characters to have lost a hand. The missing appendage appeared later pointing to a cockless corpse – probably exactly what it would’ve done if still attached to Hans – the missing appendage of which will presumably turn up pointing to another dead person. And on and on.

Hans remains in a coma, so no news on whether he’s going to sport a hook like Buster Bluth and Dr Drew Baird or an oversized piece of bling like Jamie Lannister. I vote the latter.

Also not sure whether to put that spider on the list of the dead. He looked like he might have had it, but you know, maybe not. Maybe the body of another spider fell across him and he escaped under a dumpster magazine and waited for the zombies Henrik to leave. But I digress.

The cleaner

So, it transpires not all of the murders were committed by the same person and that Lise’s oddball cleaner has been doing things while she wasn’t looking, which is surprising as Lise seems like the sort of person who watches her cleaner like a hawk.

“Hans’ missing appendage appeared later pointing to a cockless corpse – probably exactly what it would’ve done if still attached to Hans – the missing appendage of which will presumably turn up pointing to another dead person.”

In an unbelievably easily organised set-up in which Saga and co convince someone to put her life in their hands, Henrik repays this faith by abandoning his post to pop round to Rikard’s for a spot of B&E and light housework, revealing that he’ll probably be round at the Widow Anker’s house. She’s been through the mill that one.

Saga saves her but lets Rikard escape, despite having a clear shot at him, enabling the writers to give us a bit more drama at Lise’s front door, which I would’ve been annoyed about were it not such a beautiful front door.

Who are these guys then?

Be-alibied Lukas, one of Morten’s brothers in arms, is certainly up to something. (Including watching a lot of US dramas. His ‘testing’ of the two youngsters as mules is a Stringer Bell move, plus his fun with guns routine is Justified’s Harlan Roulette. See also my bank’s last attempt to make me pay back my overdraft.) The fact the latest victim had True Detective antlers on certainly pushes Lukas right up my list of suspects.

Not sure what any of this means, but I think if there’s a lesson to learn in this part of the story it’s probably ‘don’t play cards for money with The Levellers.’

Elsewhere, we’ve a motivational speaker who’s celebrating his act of patricide with a presumably ill-advised tryst with his neighbourhood undertaker-cum-stalker. No idea.

And the least said about those other age-inappropriate shenanigans – and that bowtie – the better.

The I Miss Martin-o-meter

Moderate. Yes, Saga remains compelling, but she’s most enjoyable when she is interacting with other people and with Hans also out of action too, she’s a little too adrift here.

Although I am (sort of) enjoying the dynamic with her new boss – looking weirdly like a cross-channel ferry captain – whose attempts to mother her are falling on deaf ears. Sensitivity training and a spontaneous trip to a funeral. What is she thinking?

The big questions

How bad was Dover’s timing? What is Henrik best at? Why does no one draw their curtains?

Until next week.

@funnypunts

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Written by Hannah Dunleavy

Hannah Dunleavy is the deputy editor of Standard Issue. She likes whisky and not having to run anywhere.