Written by Cal Wilson

Arts

Rated or Dated: Raiders of the Lost Ark

Standard Issue writers are revisiting a film/book/TV series to see if it’s stood the test of time. This week, Cal Wilson finds herself sprinting from Indiana Jones and the Giant Rolling Boulder of Sexual Inappropriateness.

Indiana Jones

Indiana Jones: a “bit of a dick”.

What and why: Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), a brash, gung-ho archaeologist, is charged with bringing the mystical Ark of the Covenant back to America because of something, something, government.

Along the way: Nazis, explosions, giant rolling boulders, cartoony Egyptians, an aggravatingly stirring soundtrack and a double-crossing monkey.

The most enjoyable part of the film was spotting famous actors in their youth. At one point I found myself shouting, “Alfred Molina covered in spiders!” like a warped bingo caller. There was also a pre-The Lord of the Rings John Rhys-Davies, playing a lovely Welsh Egyptian.

You definitely couldn’t accuse Raiders of being slow-paced. They really packed a lot in, including Indy smashing through mountains of ancient artefacts. For an archaeologist, he was surprisingly unconcerned by the collateral damage, like a doctor who’s not bothered if he loses a few patients.

Rated or dated: Dated. I didn’t love the film because, well, Indiana Jones was a bit of a dick.

Young, gutsy heroine Marion (Karen Allen) sees Indiana Jones for the first time in 10 years and immediately punches him in the face saying, “I was a child. It was wrong!” In reply Indy snarls, “You knew what you were doing.”

OK, back up the truck full of surprise Nazi soldiers. They had some kind of ‘thing’ 10 years ago? Just how young was she? I did a quick internet search and according to the film’s novelisation, Jones was 24 and Marion was 14, which is just a bit yuck and/or illegal.

Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) and Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford): possibly a bit illegal.

Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) and Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford): possibly a bit illegal.

This creepy little detail is what really dates Raiders for me. I doubt you’d get away with a ‘hero’ having an underage girlfriend now.

I can’t help think of it as less ‘Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark’ and more ‘Indiana Jones and The Inappropriate Sexual Relationship.’

@calbo

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Written by Cal Wilson

Cal Wilson is a Kiwi who calls Australia home. Comedian, Writer, amateur Cat Lady.