Kitchen gigs

Sick of being the only grey-tinged gal amid an ocean of bald blokes at gigs, Vicky Lindsay Warburton decided to start holding her own. Kind of. Grab your utensils and get ready to mosh not mash.

raised forks
Valentine’s Day. Red faced, sweating, surrounded by steam and foggy windows. My pulse has been racing all week as a direct result of a massive ironing job. As a lifelong non-ironer, this was no easy task.

The brief read: complete 25 pillow cases, 13 sheets and 15 duvets covers. Not a whiff of Cupid’s bow and arrow but armed with an elderly small appliance and no clue how to ‘press’ enormous tent-like items, the only outcome was breakdown and perspiration.

More steam was omitted from that little metal triangle than a Turkish bath. Blackheads were eradicated; kitchen condensation was cultivated as this fat lady wrestler dragged vast sheets around a small saturated board. The whole artistic piece came to a shuddering end when the high pitched, continuous whine ceased and the iron died, turning silent and cold.

On the build-up to this day of love a new appliance has been brought into our kitchen. Thank god it was January when they give things away. The new iron (which I won’t use again) is gold. It is German. It is silent and efficient. There will be no romantic gift for me this year, or any year (with a birthday two days before V day you’ve no chance).

Instead, I am going to wear the 24-carat golden iron round my neck as a nod to anyone who feels chained to their board or really wanted a necklace on this day of love letdowns. Cupid can get his cardi on; I’m providing my own love-in with this month’s tender beats.

xx album coverOn the boil: VCR by The xx from the album xx

Do you know how to say the name of this band? Just say what letters you see: X X. Good. If you struggle with the pronunciation of modern band names then get behind me on the geriatric bus. We are officially OUT OF TOUCH. Go back to the ironing board. It’s a frequent stumbling issue these days and I know I’m not alone.

The xx are a remarkable young London three-piece, Oliver Sim, Romy Madley Croft and Jamie xx, who blew the ears off us back in 2009 with their Mercury Prize-winning debut album xx. Fun fact: These Roman numerals actually depict the band members’ age when the record was released.

This is a minimal, magical album offering fragile emotional content central to which is, of course, love and loss. VCR was their fourth single from this record and it’s a beautiful, simple, postmodern love song. The xx have just released their third album I See You and tickets for the tour have also just been released. Ease yourself in with this first album if the band are new to you. #alwaysdressedinblack

Simmering: Hide in Plain Sight by Jim James from the album Eternally Even

Jim James, of My Morning Jacket fame, has arrived. Our friend from over the pond has penned a belting protest album based around political corruption, the continuing assault on our earth and the lack of respect and equality out there. Eternally Even is an album that offers hope, a coming together of like-minded souls and hearts to fight the shitstorm.

Purist music journalists will baffle you with analysis of Eternally Even and the complex sound. “Is it psychedelic?” “Is there a soul element?” “Is it…?” Well, it’s bloody good, that’s what it is. JJ’s voice and sound will make you groove around the kitchen with a rhythmic sway of the torso.

This music is truly meant to be listened to live, so turn up your kitchen speaker. Hold onto your hips folks, this fluffy furry face is emanating love and hope.

In the deep freeze: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2 from the album The Joshua Tree

This month’s legends in my kitchen are U2. Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen are strutting straight out of the deep freeze, in a halo of steam, onto the slippery kitchen dance floor. It’s 30 years since the release of The Joshua Tree and U2 are celebrating with an anniversary tour. Noel Gallagher will be warming up the thousands of disciples as the support.

This was the band’s fifth studio album and features on every ALL TIME GREATEST ALBUMS LIST. FACT: The late Kirsty MacColl helped decide the tracklist for the album. An album of epic proportions with songs so powerful they’ll knock you off your Cuban heels.

A tragic motorcycle accident in Dublin killed one of the band’s roadies, Greg Carroll, who had become one of Bono’s best friends. One Tree Hill was written in his memory and sung and recorded in one take. If you catch this tour then prepare for high emotion throughout.

Whatever your thoughts on the group’s frontman, U2 is the sum of its parts. Get those iron necklaces on and release the steam for this classic album.

Get down to all of Vicky’s kitchen gig choices here.


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Written by Vicky Lindsay Warburton

Vicky is reintegrating back into society as her children are now in school. She teaches mindfulness to teenagers, wears trainers and paddles through the nonsense of life.