Written by Julia Raeside

Arts

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Richard E Grant’s flaring nostrils, eye feasts aplenty, Comic Relief and Joan Collins as the Queen Mum have quite rightly got Julia Raeside excited about March’s telly.

PoldarkThis month sees the much-anticipated launch of lavish (yes, lavish) new period drama Poldark on BBC One: a beautiful adaptation of the Winston Graham novels set on the achingly beautiful Cornish coast. Expect holiday cottage prices around Padstow to go through the roof after this has screened because the achingly beautiful Aidan Turner who plays Poldark faces stiff aesthetic competition from the mouth-watering scenery. It tells the tale of dashing 18th century mine owner who can’t make up his mind between a comely servant girl and his fancy ways ex-fiancé. A better Sunday night eye feast you could not wish for.

GenericI’m hugely excited this month about the launch of Ordinary Lies (BBC One), written by Danny Brocklehurst who also wrote brilliant things like The Driver last year, Clocking Off and my personal favourite, Linda Green with Liza Tarbuck. It stars an excellent bunch including Sally Lindsay, Jo Joyner (recently seen on EastEnders) and Rebecca Callard and it’s Michelle Keegan’s first big role since leaving Coronation Street. It’s about the folk who work in a car showroom who become embroiled in a right old mess when one of them tells a little white lie which snowballs into something much, much bigger. With Brocklehurst’s script and those actors, my hopes are extremely high indeed.

Richard-E-Grant1On the basis that there is nothing more fun that Richard E Grant flaring his nostrils and carving off giant slices of delicious ham then chomping on them for our entertainment and edification, what could be more ideal than Richard E Grant’s Seven Deadly Sins (Discovery Network)? It’s a sort of nature programme mashed-up with delicious inserts from Grant, giving it his thespian best as he illustrates each of the seven sins, starting with *enormous church organ thunder chord* WRATH. It’s a hoot. If you’ve already enjoyed him bed-hopping around the world’s best luxury hotels on Sky, you’ll love this. Long live REG.

the royals2If rumours, and those endless trailers during the E! Channel’s never-ending red carpet coverage during the Oscars, are to be believed the brashest and most brazenly awfully brilliant The Royals is set to debut on the channel this month. It stars Elizabeth Hurley as the queen of England and Joan Collins as the queen mum. Do I have to type any more than that? It’s a fictionalised version of our ruling family and no similarity to the Windsors is intended. But it’s huge, sparkly fun with all concerned tucking into the scenery like it was made of icing. I won’t lie to you, I will be glued to every single second, so you might as well throw me in the Tower now.

Comic Relief - Face The FunnyFinally this month, you can’t have missed the ubiquitous red noses as Comic Relief returns for another raucous night of fundraising and totally silliness on BBC One. Those involved this year include Lenny Henry (of course), Davina McCall (of course), David Walliams (but not swimming through sewage this time) and special sketches from the casts of The Vicar of Dibley and Mr Bean, including some very special guests. No matter how old I get, I still have the same little squee of excitement on Comic Relief night and I always end up in floods of tears, texting half my bank account away before running to give my son a kiss. It’s that kind of emotional incontinence that makes me the trusted professional you see before you.

@JNRaeside

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Written by Julia Raeside

Julia loves TV and writes about it for the Guardian and other people. She also enjoys talking on the radio which she mostly does for the BBC.