Written by Hannah Dunleavy


Cowboy Builders

Fake plastic trees, fake plastic boys and turning Maeve up to 11. Hannah Dunleavy talks Westworld episode six. CONTAINS SPOILERS.

Paranoid android: Maeve (Thandie Newton) demands an upgrade. Photos: HBO.

Paranoid android: Maeve (Thandie Newton) demands an upgrade. Photos: HBO.

“You think you know someone”

Or, to put it another way, WTF Teddy; you’ve gone from mild-mannered everyman to Scarface in less time than Walter White.

Being as it was two weeks since we heard Teddy’s backstory and I’ve taken pages of notes since then, the new light shed on Wyatt’s rampage was a little surprising, although it’s clearly where his previously ‘unspecified’ guilt came from. Teddy, you (only recently) bad bastard.

Now The Flood is trying to Thelma and Louise it over the border with the Man in Black, who finds himself in the unusual position of needing to keep a robot, who cannot be killed, alive. He’s also had to hand over the ‘weirdest guy on this road trip’ rosette to his travelling partner. Still, he did learn a bit about a house in the middle of the maze and was saved a trip to Pariah and Gomorrah, if nothing else but to continue to deny us the opportunity to see if everything is happening at the same time.

The fact these two are essentially now on a road trip (traditionally the source of laughs in US TV drama) really hammers the point home that Westworld is sorely lacking a sense of humour. All the best TV dramas remember to crack a smile every so often. I really wish this would too.

Newly single: Bernard (Jeffrey Wright) hits the dating sites. Probably.

Newly single: Bernard (Jeffrey Wright) hits the dating sites. Probably.

Talking about a house in the middle of a maze

What in fresh hell was that? Bernard’s discovery of Ford’s Betamax family living in an abandoned sector was proper creepy. No but really: ghost robots playing dead relatives created by a dead man in a place where nobody goes. The absolute horror.

Two other things we learned at Ford’s childhood home were the continued existence of first-generation robots, and how things worked out in that story about the greyhound.

I suppose the implication is we could work out who is a first generation robot and who is second generation. Which, given I can’t yet work out who is human and who is not, is pretty unlikely. Teddy is 2G, I know that much, because he is flesh and blood. And can presumably send and receive text messages.

The creepiness around Anthony Hopkins carried over into Elsie story, which was ploughing a Silence of the Lambs furrow and managed to be really tense, even though it was set in a rather farcically convenient abandoned theatre. Who do I think has grabbed her? AN Other Hemsworth because he hasn’t had anything to do in ages.

Mini me: Ford and his eight-track doppelganger.

Mini me: Ford (Anthony Hopkins) and his eight-track doppelganger.

Also, the identification of Theresa as the culprit came so easy that if this were The Bridge she’d be dead in the next episode.

But why am I talking about this when I could be talking about…

“Never start something you’re not willing to finish”

Oh Maeve, glorious, beautiful, turned-up-to-11 Maeve*. She puts all her skills (and that extra aggression she got a few weeks ago) to good use in charming, bullying and outright threatening those otherwise dull-as-ditchwater butcher dudes to make her Super Maeve.

I think she can probably see through time now. And if so, perhaps she could tell me what the hell is going on. Is Maeve just controlling her own feelings now? Is that why her paranoia is up?

*Yes, I know the actual figure is higher.

Other things

Lee Sizemore. Sounds like an Apprentice candidate, looks like an Apprentice candidate, talks like an Apprentice candidate. Let’s hope he’s out next episode.

More Radiohead on the pianola. They know how to create a party atmosphere, right?

Bernardesa is no longer. Shame.

I spotted a Yul Brynner robot when Bernard was poking around in the ‘cellar’. Some points for me.


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Written by Hannah Dunleavy

Hannah Dunleavy is the deputy editor of Standard Issue. She likes whisky and not having to run anywhere.